El Gouna, Egypt is the kiteboarding mecca, diver’s paradise and water playground for all needs. It is a waterlover’s destination on the somewhat uninhabited coast of the Red Sea that graces the intimidating deserts of Egypt. This is not an article about El Gouna though. I am, with no apology, using El Gouna as a cover for my story, a lens or a vantage point that has brought me full circle in my quest for freedom.
We have been groomed to believe that time is the biggest luxury. The scarcity of a free hour in our ever more complicated, unbalanced and frenzied lives full of responsibility is the holy grail of gifts that the universe can throw our way. As a female growing up in a conservative home in conservative nations like Kuwait and then Egypt, the list of what I could not do, could not become, could not feel or could not dream of was long and complex. My self worth was measured by the length of my skirts. Playing sports was an unnecessary distraction to my studies and hanging out with friends was considered a sure fire road to loose behavior.The path where I was prodded and nudged was conventional, bland and peppered with adjectives such as obedient, unquestioning and invisible. “Be good, get your degree, get married (but no dating - love comes after marriage), and there is no such thing as equality, don’t be silly now.” So,the verdict was different for me. Time is not the biggest luxury. It was, is and always remains freedom.
Chasing freedom has been my goal and the essence of my journey. I did not always know that as I was charting my course, but I have come to understand that about myself decades later. Freedom, it turns out, can be very elusive. Every time I dare to think I’ve conquered it or I can bottle it up and keep it close to my heart, freedom proves me wrong by its very nature.
As a little obedient and confined girl dreaming to escape, my recourse was to manifest my inner rebellion. So I began with no shame begging my uncle to sneak me off to the sea unbeknownst to my strict parents. Since I was not a good swimmer, he graciously let me ride on his back as together we swam far offshore.. He was my whale, my dolphin, my ship and beloved vessel to a sweet dose of that blue water thrill. As a teenager (still confined but less obedient), I would find ways to escape to the coast and, with the pennies I had saved, I started scuba diving. The underworld was my sanctuary where every breath was a means and a choice to experience the beauty and honesty of the sea and the life that it carries. There were no walls anywhere in sight. My water in the ocean became a form of water therapy until I could find my true freedom.
Life evolved and I managed to defy all societal norms by collecting pieces of my freedom along the way. I moved to the United States and continued to learn. I built a new life based upon my own choices, found my independence, worked tirelessly on my career and nurtured a vibrant circle of friends. These are all accomplishments that I am forever grateful for and that have shaped my identity.
With this newfound life I chose, however, came the confines of increased responsibilities including disappointments, fear of failure, losses and stresses. All of these are typical byproducts of a healthy work life in the United States. Was this my freedom? I found myself needing some remedy again.
So I took up Kiteboarding.
After swallowing an ocean, throwing out my skirts for fear of exposing my heavily bruised shins, and enduring face plants enough for one lifetime, I finally figured out the blissful melody that connected the body, the vast blue sea and the wind. Dear universe, if I die and go to heaven can I just kiteboard all day and all night?
More water therapy, please!
Next, I took up stand up paddling. No longer limited to kite specific destinations where I once needed to travel, accrue vacation days and bargain with the rest of my life for a hard earned kiting fix, I discovered through paddling a new way of experiencing the water regularly. Now I could connect with the vast blue sea right where I lived, where I traveled, and in most conditions.
Nothing could stop me now.
The connection between the board, paddle and water was the genie of happiness that will never go back in the bottle. There is a paddle for every occasion - the slow and soulful, the grueling miles of endurance, the humbling interval training, downwind, upwind, race, friends, alone, sunrise, sunset … I can go on, but I imagine all of you, dear reader, already understand.
Stroke after stroke, I came to realize that the water was never the remedy, the healing elixir I once thought it was. It was my freedom. In turning my back to the shoreline and heading out towards a horizon where water and sky blend into one, I become truly untethered, recalibrated and strong.
Christmas 2020, when I landed in Hurghada airport in Egypt and drove the 25-mile road to El Gouna, I was bursting at the seams with excitement. The weather was sunny and the winter temperature was a balmy 75 degrees fahrenheit. I was ready to squeeze in as much kite, paddle boarding and -yes! - wing foiling as my body could handle. I made peace with the land I so desperately needed to escape decades ago. I no longer let it dictate or confine me in any way, and I fell in love with Egypt all over again through its crystalline and open waters.
Aloha.
